Debt Slavery

I was a slave.

In the land of freedom and prosperity, the birthplace of the American Dream, I felt like a foreigner.  I wasn’t free, and I certainly wasn’t prospering.  I was indentured to corporations for sums of money that seemed insurmountable.  I had to forego basic needs to pay for things I did not remember buying, and things that had been consumed years ago.

For years, I lived that way and didn’t realize it.  The wake-up call was when my job became a place I loathed.  I desperately wanted to walk away.  Realizing that I could not, and the reason I could not was my own creation, was enough.  The denial was over, the blaming left only me, and I was left to decide how this was going to end.

Fortunately, I’ve never been much of one to roll over for anyone.  Once the inner conflict had worked itself out, I knew what had to happen.  The spending stopped.  The luxuries that my lifestyle had given me thus far were liquidated as much as possible.  The SUV was sold in favor of an awesome 16 year old beater, and life for the next year was not what anyone would consider fun.

However, in that year, almost $20,000 in debt was gone and about $8,000 had been put in savings.

That sounds pretty easy when typed out, but there was nothing easy in that process.  Most days I would have preferred to swallow an apple whole than drive that car to work and park beside those same cars that had envied mine previously.  To warm up last night’s dinner in the microwave and eat in the kitchen instead of grabbing sushi with friends for lunch.

Most people were still comfortable in their world of debt slavery, content to live in a world where one small hiccup in life could send their world spiraling out of control.  My one man crusade on debt was not of the slightest interest.  I didn’t care. I cared and it hurt.  I wanted to not care and go back.  I wanted my SUV back, my toys back, which is to say - I wanted to be back in denial.

I was past it though.

I say all of it was worth it, but that seems cliche.  If you are in that position, denial is so much easier.  I know, I did it for years.

Many people blog their way out of debt.  I didn’t, though I read many of your stories and many of you helped me keep my sanity when I wanted to throw in the towel.  So for that, Thank You.  You put your pain and struggle out there for me to read, and I appreciated knowing I wasn’t alone.

While much of what I will write will probably focus on the present, the pain of where I was is still very fresh.  I know how easy it was to get there, and even though I’m now free of debt, I’m finding that this end is subtly more difficult.  I’ve not saved with anywhere near the intensity that I repaid debt, to my own dismay.

And that is where I begin.